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Drunk

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Drunk

 

When the Series I DVD was released all those weeks ago, nothing divided the fans’ opinions as much as the Drunk featurette. While some admired the slick editing and well-timed pace of the piece, others thought it did not reflect their idea of the humour in Red Dwarf. The idea that Red Dwarf is all about people drinking fermented vegetable products and being silly is just plain wrong. Other people just hated the song. Other people would rather the time spent making the featurette would have been better served in compiling new out-takes or arranging for Rob, Doug and Ed to record a new commentary track.

 

It was recently announced that the Region 1 version of the DVD would not include the Drunk featurette, due to PRS problems surrounding Chumbawumba’s Tubthumping. You may recall similar problems meant that a scene from Terrorform had to be removed from the US video release of Series V, due to Copacabana by Barry Manilow being played in the background. This is obviously a tragic and unfortunate situation, but you must admit it makes a change for a Region 1 DVD to have fewer extras than its Region 2 equivalent.

 

For our American readers (yes, both of you), I have compiled this guide to the featurette. This involved me watching the bloody thing four times on the trot. I was later involved in an incident involving a DJ and a lump hammer, when the former tried to play the record that night.

 

Time

Scene

Lyrics

Dialogue

0.00

Caption

We’ll be singing, When we’re winning, We’ll be singing,

 

0.09

Better Than Life – Lister downing pint

I get knocked down, but

 

0.10

Parallel Universe – Drinking contest

I get up again, Are you ever going to keep me down, I get knocked

LISTER: …three! Ha-ha! Beat you!

0.14

The Last Day – Kryten drinking home brew

down, but I get up again, are you ever going to keep me down, I get knocked down, but I get up again, are you

KRYTEN: D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D! Aaargh!

0.21

Holoship – ‘Salut’

ever gonna keep me down

RIMMER: Salut!

0.22

Legion – Kryten sipping wine

I get knocked down, but

 

0.24

Tikka to Ride – Kryten drinking Cinzano

I get up again, are you ever going to keep me down.

 

0.28

Thanks for the Memory – Rimmer in cage

Pissing the night away,

 

0.32

Parallel Universe – Lister waking up

Pissing the night away,

LISTER: Oh, did I get drunk or did I get drunk?

0.37

Backwards – Downing pints

He drinks the whisky drink, He drinks the vodka drink, He drinks the lager drink, He drinks the cider drink, He sings the songs that remind him of the good times, He sings the songs that remind him of the best times.

 

0.47

Tikka To Ride – ‘No lager’

Oh Danny Boy, Danny Boy, Danny Boy.

KRYTEN: It’s a human tragedy.

LISTER: No lager?

KRYTEN: Sir, there is nothing unmanly in howling like a hungry prairie dog.

LISTER: No lager!

0.55

Balance of Power – Lister + Co singing

I get knocked down, but I get up again,

 

0.57

Gunmen of the Apocalypse – Rimmer orders a drink

Are you ever going to keep me down,

RIMMER: Dry white wine and Perrier, please.

0.59

Better Than Life – Glass on head

I get knocked down, but I get up again,

 

1.02

Gunmen of the Apocalypse – Rimmer downs his whisky

Are you ever going to keep me down, I get knocked down,

 

1.06

Out of Time - Toast

But I get up again, Are you ever going to keep me down, I get knocked down, but I get up again,

FUTURE CREW: To the past.

1.11

The Last Day – high five

Are you ever going to

 

1.13

Gunmen of the Apocalypse – vomiting

keep me down

 

1.15

The Last Day – Mums

Pissing the night away, pissing the night

HOLLY: I never had a mum neither.

RIMMER: Well you can all have mine. Everyone else did.

1.23

The Last Day – Kryten wakes up

away. He drinks the whisky drink, he drinks the vodka drink, he drinks the lager drink, he drinks the

KRYTEN: Oh! Oh, my head!

1.27

Gunmen of the Apocalypse – Lister and Cat down whiskeys

cider drink. He sings the songs that

 

1.28

Timeslides - A pub

remind him of the good times, he sings the songs that remind him of the best times. Don’t cry for me, next-door neighbour…

KRYTEN: Pub? Ah yes. A meeting place where people attempt to achieve advanced states of mental incompetence by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drinks.

1.38

Polymorph – Vanity-less Cat

…our…

CAT: So where is it now?

1.41

Only the Good… - Downing hooch

I get knocked down

 

1.43

Blue – Opening cans

but I get up again, are you ever going to keep me

LISTER: OK guys... (dialogue is faded out)

1.45

Legion – Bucks Fizz

down, I get

 

1.47

Gunmen of the Apocalypse – Kryten gulping whisky

knocked down but I get up again, are you ever going to keep me down, I get knocked down but I get up again, are you ever going to keep me down,

 

1.55

Thanks for the Memory – Rimmer ‘cheers’

I get knocked down, but I get up

 

1.58

Only the Good… - Rimmer fainting

again, are you ever going to keep me

 

2.00

The Last Day – Traffic Cone

down. [Sax solo]

RIMMER: It’s called a hangover, don’t panic.

LISTER: We’re on a mining ship, three million years into deep space. Can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?

2.10

Camille – Dancing

[Sax solo]

 

2.16

Camille – ‘cheers’

[Sax solo]

 

2.18

The Last Day – Surprise!

I get knocked down, but I get up again, are you ever gonna keep me

ALL: Surprise!

2.22

The Last Day – Kryten laughing

Down, I get knocked down

KRYTEN: HA HA!

2.24

Balance of Power – Lister lighting cigarette

but I get up again, are you ever going to keep me down,

LISTER: Argh!

2.27

Thanks for the Memory – Lister + Cat dancing

I get knocked down but I get up again, are you ever going to keep me down, I get knocked

 

2.33

Parallel Universe – High fives

down, but I get up again,

 

2.35

Thanks for the Memory – Rimmer dancing

are you ever going to keep me down,

 

2.37

Parallel Universe – Dog howls

I get knocked

DOG: Ooooh!

2.38

Thanks for the Memory – Holly dancing

Down, but I get up again

HOLLY: Yeah!

2.39

Only the Good… - Rimmer shaking

are you ever going to keep me down, I get knocked down

 

2.43

The Last Day – Kryten staggering

but I get up again

 

2.44

Only the Good… - Lister and Rimmer falling on to bunks

are you ever going to keep me down, I get knocked down

 

2.47

The Last Day – Jackson Pollock

but I get up again, are you ever going to keep me down, I get knocked down but I get up again, are you ever going to keep me down, I get knocked down, but I get up again, are you

LISTER: We weren’t related, alright? [BEAT] You alright Kryte?

KRYTEN: I think I feel a Jackson Pollock coming on.

2.59

Only the Good… - Kebab

ever going to keep me down, I get knocked down but I get up again, are you ever going to keep

ACKERMAN: Who fancies a kebab?

RIMMER/LISTER: Oh yeah!

3.03

Only the Good… - Pumps

me down, I get knocked down but I get up again, are you ever going to keep me down,

KRYTEN (VO): Damage Control Report: Dehydration level-

3.09

The Last Day – Damage report

I get knocked down but I get up again, are you ever going to keep me down.

(REPEAT TO FADE)

KRYTEN: 45%. Recall of previous evening: 2%. Embarrassment factor: 91%. Advised repair schedule: reboot start up disk, offline for 36 hours and replace head. Boy, what a night!

3.25 – 3.55

Thanks for the Memory - singing

 

ALL: Show me the way to go home. I’m tired and I want to go to bed.

RIMMER: Are you sure you’re alright to drive?

LISTER:  Yeah! Whoa!

ALL: I had a little drink about an hour ago to celebrate Rimmer’s dead.

 

 

This page last updated: 4th January 03

Website: © Ian Symes 2002

Red Dwarf: © Grant Naylor Productions

 

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